This week’s random and unexpected post is in honor of the two new little girls in my life. My cousin Mara gave birth to Audrey Evelyn on August 5th, and Drew’s cousin Ashley (Ella‘s mom) just delivered her third daughter this morning (name pending)!
This is a song that means a lot to me. My father and I danced to it at my Bat Mitzvah, and when I graduated college I gave my parents a photo album with the lyric “These things that we have given you, they are not so easily found, but you can thank us later for the things we’ve handed down.” printed on the front. I hope to sing it to my own babies one day as I rock them to sleep.
Please pardon the actual video…I was more focused on singing the harmony to Marc Cohn playing in the background than what I looked like on camera.
It’s the 5th of the month and I am glad to be participating in Femme Writes again! For more information on this initiative by Shine and Marie, please visit the Femme Writes website.
This month’s Femme Writes topic is abuse, and it’s something I didn’t really think I had any experience with until recently. I still don’t think that I have really ever been abused, but I have witnessed what I consider emotional and verbal abuse for much of the last year.
When my mother first told me the things that my father had said to her, things like “You aren’t the confident, attractive woman I married anymore,” there was no doubt in my mind that his words constituted abuse, and I told her as much. For months, he continued to belittle and mistreat her under the guise of “being honest.” In his mind, he was telling the truth, but in reality he was taking advantage of her and his treatment of her was completely out of line.
The thing about abuse is, intent is irrelevant. Whether you mean to hurt the other person or not has little to do with how your actions affect them. My father made my mother feel awful about herself, and that is abuse. He strung her along and used her for his personal gain and then left her, abusing not just her emotions but the power that gave him over her.
I never considered my father to be an abusive person before these events. I still don’t, if I’m being honest. But there is no question for me that what he did to my mother was abuse. It has taught me even people you consider to be “good” or “honest” or “loving” people can commit abusive acts, and they shouldn’t be forgiven or given the benefit of the doubt simply because you didn’t expect it from them. Abuse doesn’t have to leave physical evidence to be painful.
Dudes. Things you should never do: invite out-of-town bloggers to the kickball bar. OG was in town yesterday and let’s just say I didn’t go home til the bar closed. The worst part is that it was his Dallas-resident roommate who did most of the damage. But it was awesome to meet him and I [...]
Last Thursday was my dad’s 60th birthday. On Friday, he threw himself a re-election/60th birthday bash at a local bar, mostly as an excuse to get his band together to play (he’s the second one from the left). My brother and I agreed to attend, and even managed to talk our significant others into joining [...]
